Here’s to Opening Day with Naughty Sweets – Beverly Press & Park Labrea News

Random thoughts while celebrating oxygen, decadence and other springtime traditions:

• Baseball is the church bell.
• Baseball is a call to prayer.
• Hey dirty, dirty…
• I prefer to regret regret.
• I prefer whimsy to sentiment… thanks to self-pity.
• I prefer cricket to jam.
• “Singing is like a celebration of oxygen.” – Björk
• You can quote me: The movie has become about as fun toe fungus.
• Comedy genius Bill Lawrence (“Scrubs,” “Shrink,” “Ted Lasso”) should run the studio.
• FYI, I became rich the moment I had children.
• Pets are also riches though.
• Hey, whatever fills your heart, right?
• Coach Tip: Money is where dreams come from, not careers.
• Pro sports credo: “More than enough is not enough.”
• “Smile and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.” – Anthony Burgess
• Prediction I: The Dodgers three-peat.
• Prediction II: The Rams win the next Super Bowl.
• Meanwhile, the Lakers remain an enigma wrapped in an egg roll.
• If I ever open a chicken place, it will be called “What the Cluck”.
• If I ever write another parenting book, it will be called “Dad to the Bone”.
• Yep, like the old song: Da-da-da-daaaad-to-the-bone…
• Lucky Boy’s breakfast burritos make me mental – in a good way.
• As do Charlie’s cheeseburgers, at the Original Farmers Market.

As do dumpling soup at Dan Modern China (various locations).

• “When your children are teenagers, it is important to have a dog so that others in the house are happy to see you.” – Nora Ephron
• March is madness.
• March is buzzer beaters.
• Best breakfast spot: The patio at Brookside, overlooking the driving range and the Rose Bowl.
• Menu tip: Avocado and salmon toast.
• I love baseball the way Abercrombie loved Fitch.
• Sure, Streisand was a little cringy on the Oscars. Still, what a beautiful Redford tribute.
• I love cringy.
• Trivia question: Name three famous novelists who were also doctors.
• My advice to aspiring writers: Linger in bed.
• More advice: Close the bar (in LA, it’s 9pm)
• Hey, I didn’t forget; I just spent it.
• Descanso Gardens is out of control right now – in a good way.
• Take a bow, Pasadena Playhouse. • Your production of “Amadeus” was sensational. OK, maybe a little long.
• Note: Playhouse head honcho Danny Feldman is a local treasure.

A good play is a slow stroll through the human heart.

• “I like neurotic people. I like to hear rumblings under the surface.” – Stephen Sondheim
• FYI, “The Cat in the Hat” only uses 220 words.
• So? Most of my columns only use 10.
• Hey dirty, dirty…
• FYI, the best coaches call your bluffs.
• Got a good feeling this Chesney dude is now coaching UCLA football.
• Notes for Mick Cronin. No one loves a pain champion.
• Hockey fact: Anze Kopitar is LA’s Ice Mamba.
• Flower fact: Descanso has more than 700 types of camellia.
• Fun fact: When they fall in the creeks, they make camellia soup.
• “Just remember, once you pass the sand you start to speed up.” – Charles Schulz
• At Grand Central Market, the older the food stands, the better the grub is.
• Big props to Duke in Malibu for reopening.
• Sometimes happiness finds you; most of the time you have to get off the sofa.
• Yeah, I hate it too.
• But Duke or Descanso is a good place to start.
• hot tip: Bare Foot Bar Duke.
• Cool tip: Graham Central Station ice cream at Handel.
• ‘Tis the season for a little naughty dessert.
• favorite sundae topping: irreverence.
• My new motto: “Honestly, who cares?”
• Children remind us that we are all touched by angels.
• “Television is an invention that allows you to be entertained in your own living room by people you don’t have in your home.” -David Frost
• Things I miss: Grass stains.
• Other things I miss: Milk Duds and Jiffy Pop.
• And finally: Siskel & Ebert.
• Happy 100th birthday to Miles Davis (May 26).
• Poetry can make you “remember what you don’t know you know.” – Robert Frost
• Ditto, Bombay gin.
• After two gins, I became an Irish pirate.
• Trivia answers: Novelists who are also doctors: Arthur Conan Doyle, Somerset Maugham, Michael Crichton.
• When a doctor dies, I’m always a little surprised.
• Alhamdulillah baby.
• Alhamdulillah for March.
• Thank God for Thin Mints.
• If laughter is prayer, jokes are whiskey.
• “To acquire the habit of reading is to build for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” – Somerset Maugham
• The best two words in the world?
• “Play soccer!”
• The three best words in the world?

Hey builder, builder…

For more silly columns, please go to ChrisErskineLA.com