Recently, the Grapevine Quilters Guild presented handmade “Quilts of Valor” to U.S. service members who attended the Ukiah Senior Center’s Lunch Bunch Program. Established in 2003, the quilting program recognizes and honors military veterans. Since the inception of the program, 434,000 quilts have been awarded across the United States.
“Last month, Mary Ann Anderson and Anna Aikman of the lunch bunch paired up with Quilts of courage. We gathered together with family and friends to honor the four military veterans,” said Judy Williams of the Grapevine Quilters Guild. “Larry Morgan served in the Army. James Sides was in the Navy, and John Turner was in the Marines. All three clients of the program lunch bunch. We also presented a quilt to the Navy veteran Vick Ronk, who is the son of the client and also a caregiver.” Each veteran is presented with a one-of-a-kind quilt festooned with the “American Flag” colors of red, white, and blue. Two of the quilters belong to the Ukiah Senior Center’s quilting group.
“Judy Williams and JoAnn Schneiter make quilts with love and gratitude, and their visits bring warmth and appreciation to our veterans,” said Anderson, Lunch Bunch program manager.
Despite their heroic efforts, spending time making quilts to support not only veterans but also children in orphanages, hospices, and cancer patients, Guild members don’t want this story to be about them. They wanted this story to focus on a bunch of lunch.
The program, which serves seniors with memory problems, has been around for decades. I need to know. My mother, May, was diagnosed with dementia in 2005. She moved in with me that year, and the following year, I became a freelance writer and reporter to accommodate her care needs. She became a client of Lunch Bunch in 2007, attending the program every day until the week she died in 2017. At first, she was reluctant to leave the safety of the house, my mom warmed directly to the program, calling Lunch Bunch her “school,” anticipating the bus arriving at our door every morning.
Lunch is open Monday through Thursday from 11:00-2:00. “People arrive here via our Senior Center bus, then our clients have lunch and games, activities, music, exercises, trivia, Bingo, and more. They get a lot of stimulation, and they hear a lot of talking- mostly from me,” Anderson smiled.
There are several requirements for Lunch Bunch clients.
“We serve people who have dementia or who are in the early stages of Alzheimer’s,” Anderson said. “People can be in wheelchairs or use walkers and canes. People can use diapers. We help people with bathroom tasks, but they have to be able to move from the toilet with our help. We remind people that they have to go to the bathroom, hoping they remember themselves.
Anderson’s history of caring for her mother more than prepared her to oversee the lunch program.
“My mother had a stroke at the age of 60. We took care of her for 20 years. I stayed with her 5 days a week. Our goal was to keep her involved in life, even though the stroke left one side of her body severely disabled. I did the medical side of things, and my sister took care of the paperwork and financial stuff. We felt lucky to be able to hold her at Heald College Adaptive in her family’s home. walking in the neighborhood where she grew up. Fortunately, the ‘humor’ area of her brain was not affected, ” notes Anderson. “The resources were so scarce that we started the Stroke Club of Sonoma County. People get together once a month, and we keep everyone updated with the latest information. At that time, we didn’t have anyone to go to for help, and the recommendation from Mom’s doctor was to ‘put her at home.’ We maintained a stroke group long after Mom died, and finally disbanded during Covid.
Anderson and her husband moved from Humboldt County to Ukiah to shorten the commute to her mother’s home in Healdsburg. “I remember returning to Ukiah on Friday. I don’t know the city yet, but a voice told me to turn to Leslie Street. I pulled into the Senior Center and told them I want to volunteer. A month later, I was hired to help run the physical therapy program, and later, I took over organizing the lunch bunch,” he continued.
A trusted 3rd grade teacher, Anderson’s wealth of expertise keeps the Lunch Bunch crew entertained and engaged. “Instead of third grade, I teach seniors,” she smiled.
The program now needs more clients. Once a client comes through the door and experiences support, love, food, and a caring atmosphere, the Lunch Bunch becomes a non-negotiable part of their day.
“Just like your little one’s first day at daycare, families can be nervous about leaving their loved ones with us.” At other times, a higher-functioning client may want to try something unusual. I remember the daughter who signed up her mother. He said, ‘My mother lives with me, but she doesn’t go to dinner. She is not involved with her grandchildren. He isolated.’ After about a month here, the daughter called me and said, ‘I can’t believe the difference. Mom is coming down every meal. She’s doing with the whole family. Every morning he wakes up and says, ‘What time do I go to school?’ Getting people out and into our neighborhood is a hurdle, but once people are here, they thrive,” Anderson said.
The Lunch Bunch is not just for clients. Those hours when clients are safely monitored in Anderson’s care become the caregiver’s golden hours, when caregivers can attend to household chores, run errands, or take a nap. During the ten years my mother was a Lunch Bunch client, almost all of the hundreds of people I interviewed for UDJ took place during those hours, when I treated my mother to Mary Ann and her staff.
“Caregivers and families need to recharge their batteries, and this program provides the break they need. Without some personal downtime, caregivers often develop serious illnesses due to the unending demands of being on call, 24 hours a day,” continued Anderson.
Another important element of the Lunch Pack is caregiver education. “Sometimes the client will say something outlandish, like, ‘My mom cooked a great dinner last night.’ We all know that’s not true, but the most important thing is to keep the brain engaged. Occasionally, I had a conversation with a caregiver who tried to intellectually reason with their loved ones. They’ll say, ‘There’s no way her mother is making dinner. His mother has been dead for decades!’ I gently educate them that Alzheimer’s affects different areas of the brain. Our job is to keep that person active, engaged, and thinking, regardless of the words they say. Once people understand this, life becomes easier for families and caregivers.
Anderson says that for caregivers, there really is no “in between.”
“There are families struggling to find help for their loved ones to live at home with them, and people who can afford to send their loved one to memory care- something that is only available to a small percentage of people. I really respect people who say, ‘I can’t care for a loved one.’ People shouldn’t be ashamed if they can’t do it, but if they can, this program is where they need a little and a lot of support.
Anderson encourages caregivers to attend the program as much as they want. “We welcome families to pop in or stay the whole time. If you want to use the time to run errands, that’s fine, too. Our doors are always open. We treat this program as if it were the whole family. We’re relaxed and laid back.
I remember clearly the day Mary Ann called. “Carole, something unexpected happened with May. She was just lazy, and she didn’t eat. When she got home, we knew something was wrong, and took Mom to the emergency room. It was a urinary tract infection – one of the main causes of hospitalization and death in the elderly. All it took was a prescription and a night stay to make sure she was stable, and the next day she was back in the Lunch Bunch. But without Mary Ann’s extra set, who knows if our eyes would have acted quickly enough to get My mom is the treatment she needs.
“We try to stay in tune with where our people are. Sometimes, they can be very different here than at home, or it can take a few minutes to readjust after a holiday weekend.
Anderson is surprised by how many people are still learning about Lunch Bunch for the first time. “So many people who come here say, ‘I had no idea this program existed.’ We are here- for our clients and the loved ones who care for them,” she said.
Donations of cranberry apple juice, sugar, coffee creamer, Kleenex, Clorox tissues, and packets of hot chocolate are always needed, and of course, monetary donations are key to keeping the program operational. Volunteers are always needed, and welcome, and prospective families are welcome to stop by and visit the program, with or without a loved one.
For more information, visit https://ukiahseniorcenter.org/services/lunch-bunch or call (707) 462-4343.
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